I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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