She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
