I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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