i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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