Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
