Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
