I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
