I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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