you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
