dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
