I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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