I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
