Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize
