Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
