Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before

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(716): View more from New York

Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?

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(705): View more from Ontario

It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.

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(207): View more from Maine

My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.

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(850): View more from Florida

I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.

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