He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
