So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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