This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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