Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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