Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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