grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
now i know why i became what i already was.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
