Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
