Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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