areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
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The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
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We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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