Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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