when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
