LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize