My balls are so social today.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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