I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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