I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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