How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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