yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She made me pour olive oil on her.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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