The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dicks are not precious.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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