There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
