The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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