I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
