I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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