using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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