it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
