How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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