i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
