Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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