I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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