I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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