I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
