perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize