I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
