I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
