i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
