The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
