Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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