I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
