I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
