Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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